3 out of 5

I’m not sure what I can say about ‘Conspiracy.’  Delving into its subject matter is questionable, as I feel like those who are apt to read this material are probably already of a like mind – as I can say I am – and so there’s a careful line to tread between trumpeting your own beliefs and trying to provide a non-bias description of the contents.  So I won’t exactly do that, at least, uh, not purposefully, or not initially.  Instead, at a high level, let me explain my rating:

Ligotti is an incredibly intelligent, well-read guy.  His book is thoroughly cited with sources from all eras – ancient, modern – and the language effected leaves no doubt that this isn’t a raving internet troll, but a dude espousing a thoughtful, composed point of view.  That being said, structurally, ‘Conspiracy’ is something of a mess.  But only because Thomas makes his point quite thoroughly in the book’s longest chapter, the opener Nightmare of Being.  Here his thesis is explained (ad nauseaum even within this single section), led up to by a cautioning intro which sets us up for the catch-all that dooms the rest of the text: that there is no inherent right or wrong.  Ligotti is too smart to use this caveat to proceed forth trying to prove anything: for every elaborately elucidated point he’ll offer up a reminder of that intro, sorta saying if you feel this way, you get it; if you don’t you won’t.  (Though there’s also the continual nudge toward feeling like the titular conspiracy is what’s preventing the latter group from being in the former group.  That is – you won’t get it because you don’t want to get it.  But again again, Ligotti is slick, and knows how to dance around this to at least try and play fair.)  Thereafter he belabors his same point through different avenues – exploring how it can be traced in philosophy, in religion, in media.  Unfortunately, Nightmare of Being covers the bases so well that as soon as a new topic is introduced, you can clearly see the two sides of the coin.  The sub-headings in the chapters don’t help all that much to shore up the text into something less resembling a ramble.  Indeed, they seemed mostly just like ways to give us a break and bookmark.  This isn’t to doubt that this structure is and was clear to Ligotti, just that, for this reader, I didn’t feel a huge divide between sections or chapters and so mostly felt like I was re-reading the same points for a couple hundred pages.

Thankfully, there are enough anecdotes (various experiences, experiments, quotes) that it remains interesting, and, well, the text has that on-the-cusp air that can occur in those late night dialogues with like-minded folk.  Having not met many truly like-minded folk for quite some time (if ever – most fall into the camp that’s discussed in the book, who’ll side with pessimism only until they can think things are alright again), I enjoyed the dialogue, and would’ve loved to sit and listen to Thomas rap it off over drinks or whatnot.  There’s also a sneaky humor that pops up throughout.  You’ll read a passage that supports the mass suicide of the world, and then there’ll be a glimmer of a smile: Ligotti realizing he’s caught in a loop where his writing about something is just another delaying tactic to an inevitable end he keeps talking about.

So the whole thing is a bit of a Catch-22, and a jumbled one at that.  The looping around and around – careful to try to cover all debate-able bases – reminds me of what I sound like when trying to talk about this stuff with, uh, happier folk – and so I guess I get the glassy-eyed stares, now, and the suggestion that I’m sounding like a bit of a wanker.  But we’ve gotta get this stuff out somehow.

Curious?  The Conspiracy is thus: our consciousness is an evil mutation.  There is no inherent meaning to anything, and that mutation has caused an endless cycle of trying to ignore how – to quote the book and its capitalization – how MALIGNANTLY USELESS the human race is.  Ligotti draws a clear line in the sand: if you think that non-life would be better than life, you are a pessimist.  If you do not think this – if you think life is worth living – that is, you think there is some inherent meaning in life – then you are an optimist.  This is not absolutely the same as wanting to die, and it doesn’t suggest that the pessimists of the world would all be ready to hit the button to end all things, as we’re cursed with the same consciousness as the rest of you.  But the troubling, paradoxical realization is there, and we deal with it in our own ways.  I’m not sure how I’m dealing with mine.  Ligotti wrote a book, and writes other books that celebrate the supernatural (a concept relevant to the themes); I guess I read those books, and avoid people.  Many latch onto these concepts when it suits them, but their end game often remains unchanged: grow up, leave a legacy, find happiness, dot dot dot.  And thus, as I’m at an age where most have taken some of those first “steps”, I’m more and more alone.  But, heh, caught in my own paradox of wanting to be “right,” it’s nice to know there are people who feel the same way.  Who, we think, “get it,” even if I have to put that in quotes to signify that getting it means nothing at all.

Bloop.