3 out of 5

Directed by: Agnieszka Holland

I have to assume that this is getting all the hate it has been just because it’s a remake of a classic.  While I’ll admit to being completely emotionally unmoved while watching it – Polanski’s original definitely evokes more claustrophobia and fear – I was far from disinterested, and Zoe Saldana’s portrayal of Rosemary felt pretty spot on, the actress and the Scott Abbott / James Wong script allowing the character to seem stronger and a bit more proactive, fitting for a world where we can check up on distressing things like Satan and witchcraft via smartphone searches.

We’ve moved to Paris, Rosemary used to be a dancer.  Some other cosmetic changes.  None of this really matters so much, and if it ruffles your feathers, then you’re probably watching the remake just to be pissed off at it.

The gist: Rosemary and husband have gone through a miscarriage.  He takes a job in Paris as a teacher and wants to care for he and his wife, hoping to have a book published.  The finances originally fell to Rosemary, but she’s taking her husband’s recommendation to recoup – and she has full, partnerly faith in his ability to achieve his goals.  But the academic housing is small, and writer’s block has set in, leading to worries and frustrations.  Things take an odd turn when Rosemary returns a lost wallet to Margaux Castevet, part of an incredibly rich, influential husband-wife team who then begin to extend every kindness toward Rosemary Woodhouse and beau – an apartment, clothing, help with a job, help with getting published.  Rosemary becomes pregnant again, but something seems very wrong with the child, and the Castevet’s continue to be rather over-interested in the Woodhouse’s well-being…

At about three hours, the mini does feel paced rather oddly – the first portion has a very slow and graceful build-up (for the most part), and then we’re left in part two with about thirty minutes to go and a lot of wrap-up to happen.  So yes, some material has been lengthened for the TV version.  To be fair, the original didn’t have to worry about traditional TV viewing times (30 minutes, 60 minutes, etc.), and, as mentioned, I wasn’t bored at any given point.  But knowing the story did help to feel like I wasn’t “robbed” by a fast moving ending.  The gore has also been stepped up, and while it’s easy to just lump blame directly on the remake, we also have to accept that Entertainment is a different culture nowadays.  It’s a far cry from some sequences we’ve seen on other primetime shows – even something with a larger viewer base, like ‘Blacklist’ – and since we’re dealing with deviltry, one can wonder if Polanski wouldn’t have had some more blood splashed about if this were being made as a movie today. (Polanski scholars can now fling rotten meat at me and explain, with citations, why this would never be.)  But on the other hand, the gore just isn’t cut in very well.  The mini has a pretty good feeling of doom throughout, it just didn’t need the hyper-kills to sell it.  Or, rather, they could’ve figured out more wise ways to spend their blood than they did.  It really does feel a bit pasted on just to meet a quota.

Now both the original and this one have / had, to me, a problem with segueing into the cult / witchcraft stuff.  The impregnation scene was actually handled a lot better here, I thought (Polanski’s always seemed a bit silly to me), and in both cases, drawing the line from nothing to Satan takes a bit of finesse.  It’s a plus/minus, but the remake somewhat assumes we know where things are going and so doesn’t waste too much time trying to convince Rosemary of it.  Once she has the pieces, she’s there.  This is similar to the original, but I was pleased that they didn’t feel the need to spell it out for our modern dumb-dumb viewers.

Yes, the original is clearly superior.  And I can’t claim to be able to lay out the reasons for you why this remake was needed, but the same could be said of most remakes.  It’s not disrespectful of the source materials, and felt like it was acted and directed and produced with commitment.  And Jason Isaac’s is always wonderful when he’s evil.  So I feel it’s a nice complement to the original, allowing someone else to tell the story from a slightly different point of view.  If you choose one, of course go old school.  But to brush this off is to deny that it has merits of its own, and was clearly made not to replace a classic, or even to ‘update’ it per se; maybe the original network meeting where this was concocted would come across as a money grab, but the creative team behind the remake turned out something that seemed to appreciate where it came from and remain as respectful of that as possible, while meeting the supposed needs of a modern day viewer.