3 out of 5

Director: Mick Garris

So I appreciate Mick Garris’s brain for getting the MOH series rolling, but his abilities as a director seem generally heavy-handed. Valerie on the Stairs survives thanks to an interesting concept that leads to an atypical ending, but its still full of cheese – bad scripting, over-reactions, and plot holes that it attempts to sidestep. Highberger house is a place for failed writers to stay, free room and board, until they get published. This means some are there for weeks, some for years. Rob (Tyron Leitso) is just moving in to work on his 5th yet-published novel, having, it seems, just gotten out of a serious relationship and determined for this book to make it. The introduction to this character and the house mostly work in TV-land… pretty quick and easy, but summarized acceptably for 60 minutes. When Rob begins to write, he is interrupted by the sounds of a girl crying, and strange sounds. Then he starts to see the beautiful (and naked, natch) Valerie on the stairs, begging for his help… but Valerie disappears whenever he gets close. Valerie being all naked is sort of eye-rolling, as is the steamroll through the plot, and Tony Todds creature makeup apparently hasnt advanced since the 80s outfit. Despite that, the concept is interesting enough, with some worthwhile gore, to keep it watchable. Lloyd makes it work, and Leitso is cute enough to believe. So much is questionable here – the extra characters, the plot padding – but youre only asking that at the 50 minute mark, so youre most of the way through. Absolutely average.