1 out of 5

Directed by: Henric Hirsch

Blech.  I swear I’m not just disliking the reconstructed Whos.  I even watched this one through twice to verify I wasn’t just tuning out.  Furthermore, with my appreciation of the Aztecs serial, I can mostly set aside my worry that I’m just hatin’ on the historical, because history, in general, bores me outta’ me poopers.  Well, somewhat.  I suppose I don’t – or hadn’t – viewed Doctor Who as a vehicle for these kind of dry, factual explorations which are only very loosely limned by a need to get back to the TARDIS.  So that’s my bad that I wasn’t aware this format existed.  And so, exposed to that, I guess it follows with my general likes and dislikes that I have more tolerance for those eras of history that give us a more fanciful setting – thus far that’s prehistoric times and the Aztec eps – vs. more ‘recognizable’ eras that make my eyes and ears seal shut in history class – thus far Marco Polo and now the French Revolution with ‘Reign of Terror.’  But whereas Marco got some mileage out of the novel way in which they’re kept (as always) from getting back to their ship – held hostage, with the TARDIS tauntingly traveling with them as part of Polo’s trek – ‘Reign’ does my least preferred story mechanism (no real reason to leave the TARDIS, then prevented from getting back…. it just paints everyone as incompetent) and then combines that with boring history.  …Boring history that’s told to us in the same way that my boring A.P. U.S. History teacher used to tell it to us, with the dribbling fact delivery of someone who assumes we care.  Marco Polo didn’t wax on with this nonsense, more using the era as a setting and Marco as a dynamic character.  ‘Reign of Terror’ tosses names and places at us like that should grab our interest, and then trots out actors in fancy garb with a nametag that says Napoleon, nevermind if the dude is actually interesting to watch on screen.  Maybe kids in the 60s gave more shits than I do, I dunno.

The beginning episode has a bit of promise, with the Doc pissed at Ian’s constant questioning of his abilities and then promising that they’ve landed on Earth… with exploration suggesting that maybe it’s Earth but not present day… and a silly but acceptable cliffhanger with the Doctor separated from his crew.  And I’ll even extend this promise to episode 2… Doc with his whimsy impersonating an official; Ian’s jailbreak… but so much of this dies with blah factoid exposition over the next four parts that it irresolutely kills any memory of those moments, which are already just sort of glimmers in overall average eps anyway.

Topping this all off are some really off music themes that seem to be going for womp-womp comedy quality, but… y’know, can’t make history interesting, and thus just seem uncomfortably out of place.

You let me know: if you’re a history buff, how does that serial rate for you?  Also, let me know if you’re reading this review.  Or are aware of my existence.  (:sniff:)