4 out of 5

Director: Alexandre Aja

As a Netflix reviewer already stated: this is what Snakes on a Plane wanted to be. Piranha 3-D is not only the best example of knowingly camp horror to come out on the big screen in a while, but also director Alexandre Ajas best showing of talent, ditching the pretensions of High Tension and the praise that followed him to his next couple features. Piranha wastes no time setting the titular creatures loose with an earthquake (that opens a rift into a long-sealed crevasse) nor establishing its principles: Elizabeth Shues feminine but tough-as-nails police chief, Steve McQueens (what an effing name…) good-hearted but still-into-naked-chicks teen protagonist, and Jerry OConnells sleazeball invitation-to-destruction director. We also know from the start that its spring break time and Lake Havasu is going to be filled with tons of drunk and naked teens. All of these elements are twisted together easily enough for tons of blood, nudity, over-the-top moments and terror. What worked so awesomely best in this movie: no rules. There are some surprising kills according to the Horror Handbook. Some are in bad taste. But it doesnt matter. It does what its supposed to: I actually find myself NERVOUS in some scenes waiting to see what would happen. Not frightened, but just waiting for the gore curtain to drop and it was a great feeling. What didnt work: some parts are surprisingly understated, such as the funny but muted opening. Oh well. The water scenes are truly amazingly shot, with tons of extras coordinated into bringing the chaos to life. I only caught one or two stragglers who didnt appear to be actually terrified. Anyway: money well spent. The 3-D is upconverted, but the movie was at least shot bearing this in mind, so it sort of works. Bring the kids. (Please dont: youre a bad parent.)