4 out of 5

Director: Brian Taylor, Mark Neveldine

Whether it’s something about his over-the-top swagger or perpetual smug yet unassuming look, Jason Statham has mastered the “i can kick your arse but i accept that this whole thing is pretty silly” action genre, and backed up by writers/directors who get that, he gets to be in truly satisfying popcorn flicks that are immensely rewatchable and much more worth the time than bloated popcorn flicks like Transformers (which is like, extra butter and caramel and things and you’re sort of sick afterward). So Crank is about a hitman who gets poisoned, and who figures out that as long as he keeps adrenaline (or something similar) flowing in his body, he can keep the poison from shutting him down completely. Cue 87 minutes of shocking yourself, taking drugs, public sex, car chases, and everything else they could think of before movie #2. Dwight Yoakam is excellent as the knowledgeable hitman-doctor and though Amy Smart is not a good actress she does well as the pretty girl who gets dragged along. It doesn’t quite get the 5-star bonanza treatment because whenever the film stops to breathe, it really stops to breathe. It’s played properly for giggles at some points, but then other points it’s like everyone forgets that our man is on a clock. Beep!