1 out of 5

Directed by: Henry Hobson

Man, what an unfortunate slog.  Maggie, we must admit, mostly got our attention for the appearance of a grizzled, non-actiony Arnold Shwarzenegger.  Internet responses split between jokers and defenders, but either way, this appeared to be his most straight-forward, gloomiest role to date, and needed to be seen to justify whatever side of the split on which you fell.  As commenters on the Ebert review point out, the flick is called ‘Maggie’ and not ‘Maggie’s Father,’ but Arnold still commands his fair share of screentime here, paired with Abigail Breslin as his titular daughter, and Joely Richardson as his wife, Caroline.  Like the TV series ‘In the Flesh’ or ‘Deadgirl’ from some years back, ‘Maggie’ takes a low-key approach to zombie-ism, and wants to use it to tackle something beyond flesh-and-brains.  The affliction is treated as a disease in the film, with quarantine steps in place once the disease reaches the point of no return.  Otherwise, the infected may stay out and about in society, though their cataracted-eyes and veiny flesh cause others to scurry away.  Rumors of how horrible the quarantine process can be lends the question of what to do while watching a loved one go through the infection – take their fate in your own hands, perhaps? – and it’s a question Arnold, as Wade, is asking himself for the runtime, defending his daughter from those who would take her away.  Maggie, then, is a slow and contemplative film about illness, and fate, and uses Zombie as a timely (since we love zombies right now) in-road to the topic.  But it’s really… just slow.  The screenplay, from John Scott 3, has some intense moments where Maggie is freaked out by her own decay, and Hobson and Arnold pull the most they can from the silence to show Wade’s burden of knowing what he must eventually do… but really, the script never does much to push us beyond the premise, and the lingering camera and whispered dialogue work well for character interactions, but, not juxtaposed against anything, build zero empathy or tension.  The makeup is quite awesome, and Arnie’s look – matted hair, unshaven – is intense, and brings the necessary weight to the role.  It’s unfortunate that the movie does nothing else to actually become an effective movie beyond shamble, slowly, toward a conclusion.