1 out of 5

Directed by: Rob Hedden

It’s like this Ft13th isn’t even trying.  The batch of Jason movies up to this point have very loosely clung to the Crystal Lake-revenge scenario, where Jason is stalking those who just so happen to be teenage and sexy and hangin’ out on his home turf because momma did it too, like eight movies ago.  For Part VIII, the producers wanted us away from the camp, so on to Manhattan we go… except no one makes any attempt at even a lame explanation for what incites Jason’s rage – first upon the cruise ship heading thataway, and then the city proper for the last ten minutes or whatever the budget could afford to fake.  (And why would the  film’s “you’re all gonna die” doom-sayer even bother getting on the ship?)  Which means we’re the thin curtain has dropped, and it’s clear we’re only here to watch him kill.  Fine, yes, horror movies are never going to be plot first, but the loose threads are important for fooling us that we’re watching a somewhat competent narrative… and the less loose the threads, the better potential the movie can have to actually be something notable.  Setting all of that aside, Part VIII continues to fail with what it has left: characters, kills, and the man himself – Jason.  None of the principles make any impression, lacking the kooky psychic from part VII, or the oddity of a Crispin Glover from part IV.  These are cast-offs of stereotypes by this point.  While writer / director Hedden actually had a fairly interesting explanation for his lead actress’ (Jensen Daggett) fear of water, and impressively holds it until the last portion of the flick, Daggett is so uninteresting to watch, it can’t possibly matter.  The kills are all back in the stabby-stab territory, nothing fancy – with poor makeup effects to boot – and Hedden forgets to actually keep Jason scary, lighting him up in full in almost every scene.  Hodder still adds weight to the character, but excessive screentime makes it too easy to see the actor under the mask.  Budget limitations were rampant, so Hedden deserves credit for making fair use of the ship, but there’s precious little else rewarding about this entry.