1 gibble out of 5

Director: Raul Gasteazoro, Giovanni Messner

Holy craptasy. I cried while waiting for this movie to finish (which I accept as a mark against myself for not being able to just walk away).

Look: I understand that low budget must be compared to other low budget works. And yes, as other reviews point out, Black Pearl is sort of above-average with camera work and editing, and having a made up language for the film (is it really made up though?) is pretty bold for a movie no one’s going to see (…except for 1,866 people on Netflix apparently), but this isn’t the era where it’s hard to make a film anymore. It still takes effort, but it also can take someone who’s just watched shaky-cam movies their whole life and has enough d-bag friends with dreadlocks to buy a camera and reserve a park to shoot in.

Low Budget suffers from just being bad, but it’s even worse when it’s backed by high-falutin’ ideals and someone writing or directing thinking they’ve made a masterpiece. The plot was a thin excuse for pretending like they care about the environment and to show their skinny abs and average martial arts skills. YOU HAVE A TONGUE RING. I would think that, having dispensed with the english language, maybe that would have gone too. Oh, hey, and in the future, we can grow beards and then be clean shaven in the next shot. Is it to show a difference in character? Is it a flashback? I didn’t care. I don’t see how a viewer could.