2 out of 5

Directed by: Jeff Fowler

This is acceptable. For a game series that had to kind of de-engineer its raditude 90s-ness into an embracingly goofy narrative that supported an egg-shaped evil scientist, a two-tailed flying fox, and magical emeralds, a live action movie had about as much chance as a live action Super Mario movie of translating that stuff to screen in a way that’d be tolerable for the format. And Sonic the Hedgehog takes a predictable route – Sonic escapes from masked pursuers on his anthropomorphic homeworld to another dimension / planet, Earth, thus enabling a fish-out-of-water / home-is-where-your-friends-are adventure comedy – but that’s completely acceptable. The actors commit to the bit; the CG sells the silliness well enough; and it’s shot with a competence that understands we just need to tick off the requisite story beats and move on. If that doesn’t sound particularly unique or especially engaging… well, yes. Sonic the Hedgehog is by-the-books and safe to the point of tedium; but: it could be so, so much worse.

This is a weird “compliment,” of course, but it’s a major one for a property like this: the human family Sonic befriends could’ve been portrayed by actors who went Gee Whiz Gosh big with their reactions, but James Marsden and Tika Sumpter act like real people (…within the context of a moral-espousing kids’ flick), which helps to allow Sonic’s often groanworthy memeing and attempts to do the hyperactive funny bit not have to compete with other similarly elevated factors. Jim Carrey, playing evil government scientist Dr. Robotnik – on the hedgehog’s trail for nefarious reasons after Sonic causes a major power outage, putting him on the government’s radar – even Jim got the notes, putting his usual energies into make the Doctor weird and a true “character” instead of mugging for the screen. So when Sonic gets in his mugging – which is mostly harmless, but has some farts and other dumbness, just to cover all bases – the kids can laugh, and maybe some adults, and the rest of us can file this particular character’s representation under a moderately obnoxious archetype and move on.

…Because the other smart move in that regard was to parse out the Sonicness of it all. A little bit of the character goes a long way, and director Jeff Fowler and his team also appreciated that this budget ain’t competing with blockbuster Marvel and DC movies, so the “plot” (only quoted because it’s just a MacGuffin of find-the-thing for a buddy comedy, and the machinations used to stick Marsden’s Tom and Sonic together fall apart within a few minutes of barely critical thought) is spread out amongst chatter and comedy beats with the whole cast, not just the CG one; similarly, the action is filed down to only what’s needed to eke out expected emotions, if relying way too much on the gag of Sonic viewing the world in slo-mo as he’s in regular speed.

I haven’t mentioned Sonic’s voice actor yet – Ben Schwartz – because… I think he was probably the perfect choice for this particular characterization, but I also hate him. The “improv,” if there was any, feels very tired, and the delivery is just the most cookie-cutter version of cute-snark there is. The much smarter writing on the Ducktales cartoon made great use of Schwartz (his character was situated with a more well-rounded cast to ping off of, and richer and funnier dialogue), but you plop him into a movie that’s just trying to tread water and he does exactly what’s needed. I cringe. I also accept that that’s probably exactly the take to go with for, again, this particular iteration of the hedgehog.

And so: there’s a world where I edge all of this backhanded praise into actual praise, but I’m not quite over that hump. I appreciated that the movie was watchable, and that it was brief and in motion and shushed its more potentially noxious bits into bite-sized chunks. I think that the hubbub over the Sonic redesign was suggestive of good intentions from the filmmakers (with other debates over the ramifications of that process set aside), and that vibe likely keeps the film afloat as well. But it’s also a flick stitched together from the most generic kid movie templates, and given an overlay of Sonic nods.

Not great. Acceptable.