3 out of 5

Just trying to milk the last bit of ‘Infinite Crisis’ crossover nonsense that they could – or maybe trying to make a joke out of it, who knows – DC added appropriate words to the title of one of their yearly holiday specials (which I guess are already money grabs), sprinkled it with one or two lines that reference events from Crisis, and unleash 7 tales of mostly meh quality that get a surprising amount of effort from the talents involved.  This book would be mostly forgettable (sorry, talents involved) if not for a truly hilarious (regrettably hilarious, since it makes me want to keep this book for only one story) last tale that just goes completely off the rails – against the nature of the other stories, which stay within the confines of their respective core character’s universe – and then, to punctuate the hilariousness of Superman punching “Bat-Santa,” the last panel slaps an Elseworlds brand in the lower right hand corner.  It’s so ridiculous, and it was so out of the blue when I read it… gah, it still cracks me up.  I hate it for that.

We get a pretty usual XMas GL story (y’know, bravery above adversity and all that) from Keith Champagne and John Byrne, then a typically chuckly Shadowpact story from Willingham and Cory Walker, and stupid cheesy “let’s get some Infinite Crisis mentions out of the way” Supergirl blurb from Joe Kelly and Ale Garza (which I guess stayed true to Kelly’s cheesy run on SG in general…), a way boring and confusing “Trials of Shazam” tail by Bedard and Marcos Marz (only confusing because – who the hell are these people?  Where are the tights?), another normal XMas Flash jive (Ian Boothby and – hey, pre-Hellblazer Giuseppe Camuncolli, still lookin’ damn fine), a Greg Rucka Batwoman that’s nothing like his Detective Comics Batwoman and also seems oddly jewishly similar to his X-Men Unlimited short story from some years prior to this…  Then that motherfuckin’ badass “elseworlds” story by Kelley Puckett and the wish-I-saw-him-more Pete Woods.  (Or wish I saw him more on books I read).

If you were keeping count, that was three normals, two stinkers, a chuckle, and then one reissue-it-with-a-foil-cover-as-a-standalone-story-and-I’ll-buy-it-for-$10-maybe story.  Is that really 3 out of 5?  Meh, except for the Shazam thing (SORRY TONY), it’s all readable.  And you end on a high note.