5 out of 5

Director: Dorian Walker

Ah, Teen Witch. Boys had their turn at fluff movies in the 80s, with the obligatory hottest girl on campus having to be wooed by a dork protagonist who inadvertently, somehow, saves the day. Maybe there was a boob scene in the movie, or at least someone stripping down to underwear. Girls deserved an equal chance at the genre, and thus: Teen Witch. Instead of spying on girls in the locker room, though, we get our skipped-some-grades smart teen in love with the football hero, who does things like taking his shirt off and doing push-ups, all sweaty style, on the football field, or running around a cabin in a black sleeveless T, looking at the camera and posing homo-erotically. Theres an element of fantasy, if you couldnt guess by the Witch in the title, and its that, yes, the lead discovers on her 16th birthday that she has some developing witchy powers. But should she use these to make Brad – that football hottie – fall in love with her? Or cant he learn to love her for who she is? Teen Witch is not really bad, and its not straight, but its not good. Its just enjoyable. Theres a truly nasty teacher who gets a nice comeuppance and some way random dance/rap sequences that are amazingly… …unique to this film. Yes, there are no moral lessons here (they play at teaching a lesson but sort of leave that plot thread dangling… along with some others), and whoosh, some of the dialogue is, like, shakespearian, but they also have a couple surprising elements: a pretty sultry love scene between two under-agers (hands under the shirt!) and a sex-ed class without a carrot/condom reference. This is an enjoyable romp to either love or hate.