1 out of 5

Director: Various GP people

Can this even be called a movie?  For whatever reputation you want to allot to the Guinea Pig series, I rated them all one step above blech because regardless of the original two’s notoriety, there is something going on behind the camera.  This “best of,” though, is more what one would probably imagine when hearing a description of GP or any kind of exploitation flick – no plot, all blood.  I don’t know what to say I was expecting for this, and I also can’t say I did much more than fast forward through it to verify… that there are no introductions, no clips introducing segments, just poorly stitched together moments from the first few films.  So if you’ve seen all the films, there truly is not one lick of new footage in this collection.  If you haven’t seen them and you really are just a gorehound, I don’t even think this special works because it’s…. I dunno.  It includes bits from Devil Doctor Woman, which was one of the “comedic” entries and the one with the worst effects, plus the clips it uses from one and two do, of course, include the “money shots” of the eye puncturing, but also include the pointless shots of, like, the spinning chair sequence.

Whatever.  This is lazy, lazy trash that doesn’t seem to function on any level except as proof of someone’s ability to cut and paste random elements from other movies.  I’m not standing up for the GP series at all, but anything that could be said about them is negated by this compilation of context-less – the very, very thin amount of context there was – clips.