It’s hard evaluating movies that are made with zero budget. Acting is never going to be that great, and if the Makers’ vision is larger than the constraints of the production, it ain’t gonna’ look too good. So movies of this nature have to be rated simply on… stamina, almost.

If you were some kind of a talent scout, looking to see if anyone involved with “1st Testament” had what it takes to move into the big leagues, what then? Alas, it still gets one star…

YOUR WORDS HAVE MADE ME WANT TO CLICK WHERE I’VE NEVER CLICKED BEFORE

Mainly focusing on the widow of a murdered journalist both directly before and after the kidnapping and eventually publicized beheading of her husband, “A Mighty Heart” does an excellent job of treading a line between realism and drama, without stooping too far into boring fact-relating or melodramatic cliche.  The movie is still average, in my opinion, as any film which is based on already-known events faces the difficulty of building suspense for the viewer…

SELF-REFERENTIAL LINK TYPED IN ALL CAPS

I’m surprised that I disliked this. It sounded right up my alley – confusing, over logical, very few characters. I generally enjoy movies that are very focused and almost a challenge to watch. However, if the main criticism about this movie is that the scientific jargon makes it difficult to follow, that I had no problem with.  …

Here’s my main problem: There’s just not that much going on plot-wise…

SERIOUSLY

his goes into the “low, low budget” category, and possibly its sub-category of “I might’ve made this movie with one camera and a poor mic while I was half-asleep and I sort of forgot about it…”

YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO REMAIN EDUCATED ON THE ISSUE OF BAD MOVIES

You know the plot already. …Right? This version of the story involved a lot more mysticism than I recall, but having not read the original, I cannot truly comment on that. However, I can comment that I enjoyed this take on the tale more than several other versions I have seen, and that is thanks to the dedication of the filmmakers and actors…

OMG I LOVE REVIEWS OF MOVIES I DON’T CARE ABOUT

I kept thinking about how lame ‘Outbreak’ seemed in comparison to ‘Contagion’ as I watched it.  Soderbergh hops between blockbuster and indie purposefully, but this still wasn’t the rah-rah of ‘Erin Brockovich,’ nor was it the digestible indie eye behind ‘Traffic’.  Instead, we get an interesting compromise – the balloon of several big name actors supporting this title, and the doom and silence-between-the-moments that we normally don’t get on the big screen…

I LIKE WHEN YOU TELL ME THINGS

Ponderously paced, ‘Hesher; stop just short of being an annoying indie flick to come up with a respectably unique twist on a the “stranger enters our lives AND TOUCHES ALL OF OUR HEARTS MEANINGFULLY” style of film.  At moments I felt like I was watching a less scatalogical ‘Visitor Q’, but ‘Hesher’ doesn’t quite have enough guts to leave us totally offended and in the dark.  It aims to dip into real humanity and it does so… after a time…

YOUR WISDOM PROMPTS EXPLORATION

Very interesting subject matter, presented cleanly and interestingly, ‘Puncture’ ends up acting more as a conversation starter than a thrilling view.  Did you know about this story?  I sure didn’t.  But apparently plastic syringes (which are all I ever recall seeing) are the primary cause of needlestick injuries to nurses in hospitals.  And what are needestick injuries, you may ask, as I would’ve prior to seeing this film…

CLICK TO FIND OUT MORE THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW

Boom Bap!  12 Rounds!  John Cena!  Boom!  Renny Harlin!  Zippy Zoom!  Piece of shit!

Hokay, it ain’t that bad.  Cena seems like a nice guy, and Harlin still copies every popular action movie shooting style effortlessly enough, but ’12 Rounds’ is such light fare that nips unexcitingly from movies you’ve seen before that it’s hard to even muster the channel surfer’s glaze of between-commerical contentment for any given scene…

HOLY CRAP TELL ME ALL ABOUT JOHN CENA

Well, I liked Surveillance.

Here’s the problem when your daddy’s famous for making weird movies and you also end up making weird movies: Inevitably – as the saying goes – you’re gonna’ have to grind that buckshot into silver.  I’ve never understood the saying, so instead I would say that.. it sucks.  ‘Cause no matter what you do, people can’t help but look at you through a cinema filter honed by watching dad’s films…

I DESIRE YOUR OPINION ON MY SCREEN