Blood Harvest

1 out of 5

Directed by: Bill Rebane

Almost every review for Blood Harvest – whether praising it from a “so bad it’s good” perspective or simply leaving it at the first half of that description – will list a couple of adjectives: one related to the flick being lazy, and one related to the flick being pervy. And I will not argue with either one of those. Beyond the notoriety of this “slasher” starring Tiny Tim, it can hardly be considered a notable addition to the genre, with its slasher bona fides severely lacking, hence my putting that term in quotes. As far as it falling in to enjoyable camp, for me, that can work when a flick exceeds its inherent badness with some kind of passion; Blood Harvest is just lazy, though, excepting a worthwhile performance from Tiny Tim, donning clown makeup and doing his falsetto thing here and there when singing the clown’s themes. Elsewhere, the film hardly moves beyond two sets – a house, a barn – and cants the camera slightly to indicate apparent ominousness but otherwise just lets things play out as long as possible to get to 90 minutes – i.e. let’s just listen to the radio for a bit; let’s just sit on the bed a bit; let’s practice ballet moves for no apparent reason – and then grossly and obviously switches approaches when it’s time to get its perv on, which is quite often, framing cutting to a softcore leer so lead actress Itonia Salchek can get undressed. The lack of logic and necessity to these scenes just layers on top of the ogling camerawork, moving it beyond any justifiable cheesecake slasher inclusion to be very invasive feeling.

The opening scene, which sets the stage of a financially-ruined town, Jill (Salcheck) returning to it from college, unprepared for the hostility she gets due to her father’s involvement with the land-repossessing bank, is a moderately interesting hodge-podge of shots that suggests we might be getting something a little more surreal and plotted than we eventually do. But it quickly just becomes Jill hanging around her house naked, and cutaways to someone slashing people’s throats – is it quirky clown Mervo (Tiny Tim)? Or perhaps it’s Jill’s ex-boyfriend Gary (Dean West), who likes to show up in Jill’s house unannounced, shame her into kissing him, and sucks on her boobs while she’s asleep? The throat slashings aren’t badly done for what they are, but excepting two other small time gore gags, that’s the extent of the kills, so nothing doing there.

I didn’t mind George Daugherty’s music – an ongoing burble of softcore synth. But that’s pretty much all the flick has going for it.