3 out of 5

Directed by: Jackie Kong

Watching this movie with a fellow trash film connoisseur, I think we were both wondering why A. its ridiculous mash-up of Three Stooges antics, plus groanworthy “transgressive” 80s humor, plus go-for-broke gore and we-are-broke effects, isn’t referenced more often on cult horror movie lists, but then also why B. the movie doesn’t really work… which kind of explains A.

It took sitting there for 88 minutes of us variably remarking how great the movie was but not really laughing or saying that with much emotion for her to point out: the flick has no flow. This is probably its main sin. Because standing back from afar, this Blood Feast pseudo-sequel has much to offer in the 80s camp school of horror – including a talking brain in a jar (with eyes!); and a character who is just an (almost) lifesized puppet, voiced poorly by another character; and a woman whose head gets turned into a legit meatball after being dunked in a fryer – but the actual viewing experience is both over- and underwhelming, with writer/director Jackie Kong and a universally game and overzealous cast filling up every frame with ideas that stick or don’t, but not having enough focus to figure out which is which.

If this sounds overly negative, the net viewing experience easily tips over into an enjoyable WTF that I imagine makes return viewings more and more hilarious. The apparent rerouting of this from an official Herschel Gordon Lewis riff into some halfway house for Andrew Dice Clay humor and Troma stylings makes for an amusing mess from the opening scene onward, even if that mess is underlined by a feeling like the movie just missed being something much greater.

In Blood Diner, two knucklehead brothers are mesmerized into a blood cult reminiscent of the one from Blood Feast by their sorcery-resurrected grandpop, then set to work butchering sexy ladies for their rituals, serving up the pieces in their vegetarian restaurant.

It’s dumb. You’ll know if you’re game after a few minutes of its particular dumb.