4 out of 5

Directed by: Matt Maiellaro, Dave Willis

It’s always right around when the flying watermelon appears that I realize this thing is probably going on too long. I mean, you could’ve just looked at Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theater’s runtime and guessed it would be problematic – turning an 11-minute long, random-humored, very non-linear cartoon into an 80+ minute feature – but I also saw that as a kind of seal of quality: creators / directors / writers Matt Maiellaro and Dave Willis wouldn’t commit themselves (and sacrifice their sanities) to a full-length movie if they didn’t feel they could do, right? Right?

Sure. I mean, on the TV side, I experienced the season made in tandem with this movie, which was pretty puerile (…in a less than creative fashion) and leaning toward the forced side of randomness; while the movie’s “linearity” and bravado is better appreciated the more you watch it, we do experience this same overall dip as the minutes tick on, though thankfully it’s represented more as exhaustion than relative immaturity. And more importantly, the whole movie still makes me laugh, just the intensity and frequency of those laughs ticks a couple beats down, as Maiellaro and Willis have pushed and pulled at the nonsense plot as far as it can go (wrapping it around every major character from the series to date).

In a series of kind of epic “this is not how you start a movie” segments – from the fake-out condiments jingle, to the zine-illustrated credits, to the backwards-dialogue Egypt opening – we eventually gather some story details about an ultimate exercise machine the Teens (and Carl) seek to repair, which is fabled to destroy the world, and then we’re off on a time-bendy quest that involves Ig and Err, Dr. Evil, the Plutonians, and the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future. And Abraham Lincoln. And Neil Pert.

Some of the gags inevitably go kinda nowhere, but the expanded runtime gives our creators the room to wrap back around on those nowhere gags in various ways, and to take time on some hilarious throwaway bits. The R-rating also means some funny bits with the censoring bleeps and swearing being completely mismatched, and a budget that allows for some bigger animation swings (some computer, different, non-Flash styles). But it also means that, at some point, we get a flying watermelon, and it just functions as “okay, now we’re going to take the story this way” scripting.

Even with that, though, I’m always blown away by the tour de force that is the first half or so of the movie, which boils down the smart dumbness of the series to some greatest-of-all-time gags, and does actually use the movie template as a way to explore the Teens “origins,” even if that’s all pretty much nonsense. That first half has continued to make me laugh out loud, from its debut in 2007 to the 5, 10, 15 years and beyond that I’ve frequently revisited the flick. And its extras on the DVD, which include a significant behind the scenes bit that’s worth a watch, and commentary that’s worth a listen, and an alternately structured cut of the movie – also worth a watch, even given that some parts are constructed via animatics; it’s arguably narratively superior? – and a whole bunch of deleted scenes…

But anyhow, I’ve also softened on that back half, which has historically always felt a bit wandering: I realize it’s just as much my exhaustion with the humor, as a viewer, since the rapid-fire weirdness admittedly has a breaking point. There’s definitely quite a bit of watermelon-forced scripting, but it’s also all done with some intention of steering things towards a conclusion.

I suppose there’s a much easier version of this review, though: If you like Aqua Teen, you’ll like the movie, and vice versa. And if this was / is your first exposure to the brand, I think that first half will play the same way – you’ll either be on board for more, or walking out of the room and letting your chuckling friend finish the thing on their own.